Nothing comes easy for me, even spirituality. I have to do this on my own. I can’t have any “hacks,” any “cheats” to this Game. I have to go down this long Path by myself, figuring it out on my own. I can read the great mystics, sure, but my journey is entirely my own.
I’ve had a bunch of situations happen where I thought I was really going to get some guidance, a psychic appointment, help, something like that. And something always happens to thwart it. The universe always tells me “nope.” I cannot follow. I must lead. I am only leading myself most of the time, but that doesn’t matter. The point is, there is no way around the Path, no shortcuts.
The Path is about the Other Side, and my connection to it. The Path is about my True Self. The Path is about active, deep meditation. The Path is about the signs and symbols which reveal themselves everywhere. The Path is about humanity and where we are headed. The Path is about “reality” vs. “Reality.” (If you don’t know what I’m talking about, look up Simulation Theory, and enjoy your trip down the rabbit hole.) And, of course, above all else, the Path is about Consciousness. This is my Path.
It requires my eyes to be wide open all the time. I have to pay attention. And when I see or hear or feel something “other-worldly,” I have to know how to recognize it as such. I have to believe. I have to have faith. I have to believe because I choose to, not because it’s obvious. This is a new kind of science. I have to use my imagination without feeling ridiculous. Oh God, how I hate that. I have to be patient! That hated thing. And I have to exercise a degree of faith that might very well continue to increase in requirements. My learning curve is fast but steep. When I ask for proof, I might not get it. The proof wants to present it self in other ways than I intended. I have to work a little bit for it. I have to use more faith. That’s hard for me. That’s very hard for me specifically coming from a scientific modality of thinking. Faith is another one of my victims of religion. It was destroyed. These kinds of terms like faith, God, Grace, spirits, ghosts, angels, etc. have been ruined for me by organized. It’s awful. Even New Age is a mess. Everything has to be done like it’s for the first time, all new, all by myself, and over and over again. I’m completely responsible for everything all by myself. It’s unfortunate but it is the way. It is the way for me that is real and truthful.
I might need to catch up with my heart which already knows it’s all very real. You recognize the truth when it comes to you, and it feels like remembering.