For a long time (probably all of my life without knowing it), I’ve been on a Path. I didn’t know it was a Spiritual Path until now. I’ve always been curious and sought to understand all of existence. Since falling down the stairs, I’ve deepened my journey along this path by acknowledging that it is indeed “inner work.” I meditate and pray. I ponder consciousness. I question the more significant principles about existence and what really is this thing we like to call “reality“. I have nurtured my psychic instrument. I seek a relationship with the divine, my guides, angels, and all my relations. I listen to the voices. I meditate some more.
But then, I make the mistake of trying to be “good” for the wrong reasons. Therein lies the problem. Trying to be good out of fear is not being good for goodness’s sake. It’s a subtle distinction but an important one. (God says that acknowledgment of this fear-based morality is bravery in itself so I am grateful for this faint Voice, anyway.) Instead, I will ask not for what I WANT but rather whatever is NEXT. What is next in my development according to a higher principal? It is difficult to be brave in this prayer, for I have no idea what will become of it, though I know I am supported. Maybe the things that are so terribly difficult and then I am so fearful of are instruments to teach me, the personal lessons for my own progression.
I don’t know anything except that my progression has its own sense of timing and it’s own natural seasons. Everything in due course, not overdue or "underdue."